Seventh Anniversary

March 10, 2025

Another Turn Around The Sun

Anniversary

It’s that time of year again. I did the math today – 2,555 days post-accident. 2,555 days since my life changed. 2,555 of so much pain, uncertainty, hope, despair and all the things in between.

I’ll be honest, so much is going on these days that I didn’t get the normal six-months-away-from-my-accident blues that usually would ebb and flow pretty strongly up until the anniversary of the accident. And then the day of the accident would be pretty tough, and then it would be over, and I’d be good for another six months…rinse and repeat.  

I realized last week that my anniversary was approaching, got distracted and didn’t think of it again until this morning at 11:10. I glanced at the tiny date in the right-hand corner of my open laptop and my eyes locked on the numbers. 3/10/25. And there is was. My accident had already been over for exactly 1.5 hours, seven years ago, by the time I realized it today.

I went in the bathroom and leaned up against the wall and felt a bit hollow as I remembered, in quick succession, so many things from the last seven years. (I say “hollow” because I can’t really find a word to describe what it feels like to remember something that doesn’t seem real…because it still shocks me when I remember that all this happened.)

After a moment or two, I forced myself upright and breezed back out, pushing it out of my mind as my day was full and my mind quickly became distracted with other things needing my attention.

I got home late tonight, showered and decided to do some cooking – my meager attempt to have at least one meal prepared for the rest of the week leftovers. As I mindlessly plated my dinner at 10:30 pm, I was startled back into the present when my phone started ringing.

I answered and it was my sister, asking if I was still awake. We started chatting and she said I’m just calling because today’s your anniversary. Touched that she remembered, we started talking about various things, how far I’ve come, the struggles I still experience, etc.

As we hung up, tears threatened to spill. I am struggling to find the big, profound, epiphany that I can say, yep, that’s what I’m thinking or feeling. Rather, this time it’s a collection of little thoughts, and little contrasting feelings easing their way through my mind.

But, even amidst this stream of little thoughts and the contrast of feelings, I will say this.

 In the beginning I used to write in a notebook the phrase “I will not quit” over and over until it gave me the strength to keep going.

A few months ago, I was on a beach in Florida, and I took a picture of my footsteps in the sand, moving forward. That picture so vividly popped into my head a few seconds ago.

We all have a choice. For me in the beginning it was “I will not quit.” But…for this seventh year…it’s “keep moving forward.” One. Step. At. A. Time.

So, as I embark down this path of yet another year of post-accident me, I WILL keep moving forward and I WILL choose this phrase however many times it takes until I get to where I’m going…because that’s what we do. We never quit, and we never stop moving forward, even if we have tears streaming down our cheeks.

-        L